Home
by valsore
Summary: Getting home sometimes proves to be harder than it seems
1. Chapter 1

**A sequel to "The promise" **

**Chapter 1**

The whistle of the train announcing their arrival at the station slowly woke Lou. She languidly opened her eyes. She didn't remember falling asleep at all. She was actually supposed to be on guard. Now she found herself with her head leaning against Kid's shoulder, her cheek against his chest.

She inhaled deeply. She would never get tired of his scent. She could feel the warmth of his skin seeping through the fabric of his longjonhs and shirt. His head was resting on top of hers and his arm was wrapped around her shoulder, holding her in a tight embrace. She could stay like this forever.

She looked down at his hand holding hers tightly. He always did that when he fell asleep on the train, as if it was a way to keep her safe. Every single time they both fell asleep, she woke up to find him holding her hand. That always made her smile.

She blinked, adjusting to the dim light inside the train's box car. They were sitting on the floor amongst the wooden boxes, their backs leaning against the car's wall. It was not the most comfortable way to travel, but it would have to do for the moment.

She tried to untangle her fingers from Kid's, which was never an easy task, that's how strongly he held her. Then she stroked his arm several times before she was able to wake him up.

He moaned. Lou was very concerned about how exhausting this trip must be for him. But he was desperate to get home. They both were.

Kid had needed eight weeks of bed rest for his leg to heal, and then another four to begin regaining his strength. Then there was the matter of learning how to walk around with crutches. The doctor told them it would take several months for Kid to be able to put any weight on his leg. He was supposed to take it easy with the crutches, but he was so determined and so eager to get out of bed and the wheelchair that in the blink of an eye he was moving all around the hospital.

Lou actually thought it was better to stay a little longer in Virginia, as bad as she wanted to go home. Kid was still weak and they faced a long and dangerous trip. What normally would have taken ten days or so, was now a four weeks journey, at least, to Rock Creek. But the moment the doctor discharged Kid, there was not a soul on earth that could keep him in the hospital, or in Virginia for that matter, a minute longer.

A trip across the country in the middle of a war was dangerous enough for a healthy person, let alone an injured Kid who could barely walk. But he wouldn't even hear about staying in Virginia.

"I need to get you out of here, Lou," he had said hoarsely when she mentioned the possibility of staying a little longer, waiting for him to get a little better. "I just _need_ to get you out of here…"

Besides, he alleged they had already wasted enough of their money, and if they stayed longer, there would be nothing left for their ranch.

First there was the problem of getting out of the Confederacy. Although they had legitimate documents, Kid had discharge papers from the Army and Lou a travel pass as his wife, there was the matter of transportation. Kid could not possibly ride, which would have been the easiest thing for them to do. At this point, so deep into the war, all passenger service in the Confederacy had come to a standstill, and all trains were used for military purposes only. That left stagecoaches, which weren't really running most of the times. So they decided the best thing to do was sneak onto military trains and go as far north as they could into Maryland. Then they planned to buy a buckboard to cross the Mason Dixon line into the North. From there they would head home by train or stagecoach, whatever they could find.

And here they were. The last train station before crossing into the North.

She tried to move her head away without startling Kid, and then she stroked his hair a little harder trying to wake him up completely.

"Kid, we're here," she said softly.

He finally opened his eyes and smiled at her.

"Hey…," he said tiredly.

"C'mon," Lou said, standing up. "It's getting late and we still need to find a place to spend the night."

He frowned

"What do you mean? We still have plenty of time to find a buckboard and…"

Lou looked down at him. "Oh no, we're spending the night here, honey. You need to rest a little bit."

"I don't need to rest, Lou, I'm perfectly fine!" he protested.

Lou sighed. Why did he always have to be so stubborn? "Well, then _I_ need to rest, all right? We're staying."

She reached down and helped him up. Then picked up his crutches, handed them to him, and tried to help him with them.

Kid protested again.

"Lou, I'm fine, really. I can do it by myself."

Lou sighed again and picked up their bag.

"Let's go," she said. She tossed a quick look outside to make sure no one was watching and jumped down, almost tripping on her own skirt. She liked skirts, but why did they have to be so darn uncomfortable? It was almost impossible to move around in those things. But it was much easier looking like a girl than explaining she was one, though, so she'd chosen to wear skirts in this journey.

She quickly turned around to help her husband down.

"Lou, I told you I'm fine, I got this," Kid said again.

This time she ignored him.

"Well, I just don't want you to break your neck getting down from that thing," she said holding him by the arm. "There you are."

"Thank you," he said softly.

They headed into town as fast as they could. Lou was amazed they hadn't had any sort of trouble so far. It seemed almost impossible, and yet they hadn't.

They started to look for a decent place to stay. Lou, as always, walked slowly right beside Kid, glancing at him every two seconds to make sure he was all right.

After a while Kid started to chuckle.

"What?" Lou asked.

He shook his head.

"Lou, I'm really fine! I got this handled. I ain't going to trip or anything! You don't need to keep checking on me, honey."

"I ain't checking on you!"

"Yes, you are," Kid said again, still smiling.

They finally found a little hotel on Main Street. They knew they were lucky to find a place actually open.

"Afternoon," Lou nodded to the clerk. "We would like a room, please." Then she looked sideways at Kid, and whispered, "For a couple of nights."

"Certainly, ma'am. We got plenty of room. We don't have a lot of travelers nowadays," the clerk answered, opening the registration book for her to sign it. "Mr. and Mrs.…" He looked at her questioningly.

"McCloud. Mr. and Mrs. McCloud," she quickly answered with a smile.

She loved that part. She loved being able to get a hotel room with Kid without blushing or lying, or ending up in separate rooms because they were not married. It was silly, she knew, but she never got tired of it.

"Here you go, ma'am," the man said handling her a key. "Room one, second floor".

"Thank you."

Lou turned to Kid, who was glancing at the stairs doubtfully. He looked at her and smiled.

"I think I'm gonna need help with this one, Lou."

"Sure!"

She practically threw their bag on the floor and rushed to help him up the stairs. The clerk was coming to help as well, but she stopped him.

"No, no, that's all right. I got him, thank you."

Kid tossed an embarrassed look at the clerk. So he simply picked up their bag and followed them upstairs.

The room was really small, but clean and cozy. A nice change after several nights of sleeping on a train floor. And Kid looked exhausted, even if he swore he wasn't.

He went straight to the bed and collapsed on it with a grunt.

"Let's see if I can find us something to eat," Lou said, rushing out again.

When she came back fifteen minutes later, empty handed as she expected, she found Kid sound asleep in the same position she had left him, with his legs dangling off the bed, fully clothed, with boots and hat still on.

With a sigh she took off her gun. A real revolver, her own, not those silly little toy guns some women carried in their purses. She had figured out a way to keep it concealed under her skirt, and wouldn't even think about walking around without it. She understood Jimmy much better, now.

She carefully took off Kid's boots and gently put his legs over the bed. Then she took off his hat and caressed him softly on the cheek. She was so worried for him. He looked so pale and tired. But what worried her the most was a strange shadow that had appeared in his eyes lately. And it was getting worse as the days passed, a sadness Lou couldn't quite put her finger on. Oddly he didn't seem depressed about his leg. On the contrary, he was determined to get better as fast as possible, and she had to be all over him all the time, reminding him to take it easy if he didn't wanted to hurt himself.

Anyway, there was no going back now. And it was not as if they had anything to go back for. At least she could force him to rest for a couple of days now.

She lay down beside him, curled up against him, and tried to get the rest she also desperately needed.

They had no problem buying a small cart at the town's livery. Lou was even able to get some food supplies. And, at an exorbitant price, they were lucky enough to buy, not a horse, they were all confiscated by the Army by now, but at least a mule.

So at dawn of the second day, after convincing Kid to stay one more night in town, they departed. They both were in a good mood, maybe because even if they still had a long way to go, they felt closer to home than ever.

Lou helped Kid on the cart and he immediately took the mule's reins.

"Let me drive, Kid," Lou protested, jumping up on the cart beside him and trying to take the reins from him.

"Nope," Kid said, moving the reins away and giving her a harsh look. "I'm perfectly capable of driving a cart pulled by a mule, Lou. I don't need my leg for that."

Lou got serious for a moment, but then she chuckled.

"What?" Kid asked, smiling sideways.

"Well, that's a pretty fancy mule you're talking about. I'm pretty sure he's more valuable than Katy!"

Kid laughed.

"Well yes, you're right. I really need to try not to offend him, then. I offer you my sincere apologies, mule," Kid said dramatically, directly addressing the animal.

They both busted into laughter and the rest of the day passed without incident. They tried to stay away from the main roads. An encounter with a military patrol, regardless of which side's, was not something they were looking forward to.

That evening they had one of the most beautiful sunsets Lou could ever remember. She turned to Kid, only to discover his gaze lost into the sky, filled with a sadness that made her heart shrink.

"Hey, you alright?" she asked softly, stroking his arm.

"I'm never coming back," he whispered, without taking his eyes off the horizon.

"Don't say that, Kid. This war won't last forever. We'll be back someday."

He turned to look her straight in the eyes and shook his head.

"I'm never coming back, Lou. There's nothing left for me here. Nothing."

She caressed his cheek with her hand and looked him in the eye for a few moments. This was so hard for him, she knew. The she smiled and threw her arms around his neck, holding him as tight as she could.

"I love you." It felt like the only thing she could say to him right now.

"I love you, too," Kid whispered against her hair, holding her with his free hand.

And then, looking over his shoulder, she saw in the distance what seemed to be an old and worn limestone block nestled on the ground.

"Kid, look!"" she said, pulling away from Kid and pointing out in the direction of the limestone.

Kid turned to watch and his face brightened up immediately. They had almost made it across the battle lines into the North.

"C'mon," Kid said, urging the mule. "We'll spend the night in Pennsylvania".

They made camp that night feeling their spirits lifted for the first time in months. Kid lit a small fire. Lou took care of the mule. They ate their frugal meal under the stars, sitting on a bedroll, laughing and chatting about nothing and everything. Kid suddenly seemed much better, Lou thought, as if a heavy burden had suddenly been lifted from his shoulders. He was much happier and talkative, and with lots of energy all of a sudden.

"You know, we should give this mule a name," Lou was saying. "Let's see, he's a pretty luxurious mule, we know that… all vain and sophisticated. I don't even think he knows he's a mule. Hmm, let's see, how about…"

"Cody!?" both exclaimed at the same time turning to look at each other and bursting into laughter.

Suddenly, in the middle of their laughter, Kid bent to kiss her, his lips a sweet assault on her mouth. Lou startled for a split second. She wasn't expecting it at all. But she recovered quickly and kissed him back.

Kid hadn't kissed her like that in a long time. It's not like they could kiss frequently during the two years they were in the Army, only a stolen kiss here and there. Then Kid got hurt and Lou was so concerned about nursing him back to health that she couldn't think about anything else.

But now he was kissing her so deeply and passionately that it made her feel light headed. When they had to break for air, he looked at her with pure happiness, with a naughty wonderful smile that made her heart skip a bit. And the shadow was gone. The deep and pure blue of his eyes was back.

"Hey," he whispered, putting his hand on her waist.

"Hey, yourself," Lou answered. She could feel her heart beating faster already, and was amazed to discover she was actually very nervous.

Kid closed his eyes and bent to kiss her again. She put her hands on his chest and started to slowly find the way toward his neck. But when he put one hand on the ground behind her and softly started to push her down to lie on the blanket, she pushed back. She steadied herself with one hand on the ground and the other on Kid's chest, holding him back.

"What are you doing, Kid?" she said, breathing rapidly already.

Kid looked puzzled but didn't lose his smile.

"Well, huh…" he stuttered.

"We can't do this," Lou protested seriously.

"Of course we can," he said, bending to kiss her again.

"No, we can't," she exclaimed, pushing him back and sitting up again.

This time he got serious and raised his eyebrows at her.

"Why not, Lou?" he asked softly, confused.

"Because I don't want to hurt you!" she blurted out.

He stood still in awe for a moment before he could react.

"What?" he finally asked, almost amused.

Lou realized that despite herself she was blushing to the bone. She looked away.

"You're not all right, Kid. You were wounded, badly wounded. You still haven't gained your strength back. And I'm afraid I might, you know, hurt you or something. Or you may even hurt yourself. It ain't worth it."

Kid stood silent for a moment. Lou just kept looking away, feeling her heart about to burst from her chest. It had been ages since he had kissed her like that, and even the touch of his hand on her waist was making her shiver. She missed him. She missed him so much that it actually made her skin ache. But she was also worried for him. He had nearly died right in her arms, and then there had been the terrible weeks that followed his surgery. He looked so pale, and thin, and weak.

"Lou, darling, look at me," Kid whispered taking her by her chin and turning her face to him.

"What?" she snapped, still blushing.

The sweet look in his eyes almost melted her.

"Lou, honey, I love that you care so much about me, I do. But, I'm alright, really."

"You ain't alright, Kid," she replied seriously.

"I am, thanks to you. I am. I swear," he said stroking her cheek with the back of his hand.

She closed her eyes. She wanted him so badly. But she was honestly concerned. Then he softly kissed her cheek, her forehead, her closed eyelids. Again putting both her hands on his chest, she sighed and opened her eyes.

"It ain't even safe here. A military patrol could show up at any minute."

"We're way off the main roads, Lou," Kid murmured as he continued to trail kisses down her neck. "Nobody's showing up. And if they do, we'll… we'll ask them to give us a moment."

Lou softly chuckled. This felt so incredible good. Angling her head to give him a better access, she whispered one last time: "Kid, are you sure 'bout this?"

This time it was Kid who chuckled and pulled back, shaking his head.

"What's so funny?" she frowned.

"Nothin'. I just… I just recall this being the other way 'round," he said, trying unsuccessfully to suppress a laugh.

"Hey!" Lou cried indignantly, slapping him in the chest. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing', nothing'…" he said still laughing. Then he looked at her so deeply that Lou felt her breath caught in her throat. "I'm just, I'm just so relieved, and happy, and…" he ran his fingers through her hair and stroked the back of her neck, bringing her close to him again. He gave her a light kiss and breathed against her lips: "I miss you so much, Lou. I miss making love to you so terribly. It's been too long. Just let me love you, baby."

Lou smiled, feeling shivers all over her body. How come this man always knew exactly the right thing to say?

So this time it was she who kissed him, and as she softly pushed him down, she realized that she had been aching for him every second of the past two years.

**Thank you, dear Pilar, as always! And thank you to my dear friends on the Plus. Yes, that was the kissing scene that still makes me blush only by reading it. I´m such a prude... ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It took them almost another entire day to make it to Chambersburg. The city had been invaded by the Confederate Army twice already, but it was under the Union control at the moment. And, what mattered the most, the passenger trains were working.

They managed to sell the cart and the mule, though at a much lower price than they hadpaid for them.

Then they set off for the Provost-Marshal's office, located near the train station, in order to validate their travel papers.

As soon as they stepped through the door Lou was knocked out by the smell of stale sweat and whiskey. The office was small, dark and dusty. The lieutenant sitting behind the messy, wooden desk looked as if he hadn't bathed in a long time. He tossed them a quick and annoyed glance, but as soon as he saw Lou he rose and showed her a row of yellowish teeth.

"Good evening, ma'am," he said, tilting his head and completely ignoring the Kid. "What can I do for you today?"

Lou put their small bag on the floor and walked towards the desk, getting their papers out from her purse and handling them to the man, carefully avoiding any contact with his hand.

"Good evening," she said. "I believe we need a stamp on these to get a train ticket."

The officer slanted a quick look at the documents, and immediately his expression changed. He looked back at her with deep contempt, and then turned to Kid, who was standing a little further away.

"Well, well, well," he said mockingly. "What we have here? Not only a Johnny Reb running away with his tail between his legs, but also his pretty little wife…" At this he turned to Lou again, with a lascivious grin that made her shiver to the bone.

Lou could sense as Kid tensed immediately and stepped protectively to her side. She quickly grabbed his wrist to stop him from doing anything rash. She looked up at him. By the expression on his face he was fighting with every fiber of his body not to snap, so as he opened his mouth to reply, she quickly spoke first.

"We just need our papers checked and we'll be on our way", she said dryly.

The lieutenant lingered another moment looking at Lou, and then back at the papers.

"Well," he said, pretending to read them, "we seem to have a problem here." He lowered the papers to the desk and raised his eyes at them again. "These papers ain't no good."

"What do you mean, they ain`t no good? They're perfectly good!" Kid exclaimed.

Lou squeezed his wrist harder.

"What's the problem exactly?" she said.

"In the first place," the lieutenant said, gesturing toward the papers, "they seem completely forged. And in the second place," he went on, not giving them time to reply, "it says here you were discharged for injuries…" he raked Kid, standing there in his crutches, his leg in the air, with a a look that scanned him from head to toe, "but you seem perfectly fine to me."

_"Great, just great,_" Lou thought, "_an idiot officer who happens to be corrupt. Just what we needed."_

Kid gave the man a killer look, the rage building up in his eyes. But he took a very deep breath and tried to speak as calmly as he could.

"You know perfectly well those paper are legitimate and there's nothing wrong with them."

"The thing is," the man said, starting to walk slowly around the desk, "they don't look legitimate to me. And how can I be sure you're not a spy… or a deserter?"

He stopped right in front of Kid.

"I can't believe this," Kid mumbled, slowly shaking his head.

"We don't like you Johnny Rebs around here, you know? Especially the ones that don't stay on their side of the country, where they belong."

Kid and the officer were eye to eye now. Lou could feel the steam coming out of Kid, and yet he was still managing to control himself.

"So I think we'll have to verify the authenticity of these papers," the lieutenant went on. "In the meantime, I'm afraid you'll have to accept our… hospitality. Don't worry, our cells are very comfortable." He said this with a wicked grin, never taking his eyes off Kid's.

"You can't do that!" Lou exclaimed.

"Oh, my fair lady," he said, turning to Lou, "the fact is that _I can. _And let's hope this situation clears up as soon as possible. I wouldn't want to see you hang for a spy. Especially a pretty little thing like you."

He took a step towards Lou, but before she could do anything the Kid's arm was in front of her, shielding her, as one of the crutches fell to the wooden floor with a loud thud.

"Kid…"she started.

"What do you want," Kid spat to the lieutenant. Lou could tell he was about to lose it.

The man turned slowly to Kid again.

"Well, maybe there's a way we can help each other out," he said.

_"Here it comes,"_ Lou thought

"Since this kind of affair might be very… uncomfortable for both parts," he went on, "maybe I will be willing to pretend these papers are good… for a modest sum of money, of course."

_"Wow, he doesn't even try to pretend a little…"_

"Do we look like we have any kind of money?" Lou couldn't help herself.

"I would think about it if I was you," the lieutenant told her, baring his rotten teeth again. "A military cell may not be a pleasant place for a southern woman to be. Many of the men might be…curious about you. You know, now that I think about it, I've never been with a Johnny Reb wife before. I'll make sure to pay you a visit while you're there."

Neither Lou nor the officer saw the blow coming towards the man's jaw. Next thing she knew he was on the floor with Kid crouching on one leg beside him , grabbing him from his shirt collar with one hand, the other arm in the air, ready to throw the next punch.

"Kid!" Lou cried.

The lieutenant seemed completely disoriented. He hadn't had any time to react, much less grab his gun that was laying on his desk. So he just lay there looking at Kid with a terrified look, one hand on his already bleeding jaw.

"Say that to my wife again, please," Kid hissed. "Say it and make my day!"

"What the hell is going on here?" a voice boomed from behind them.

They all turned around to see a tall dark shadow standing against the clarity of the open door.

_"Damn!"_ Lou though. And yet there was something oddly familiar about that voice…

The lieutenant, still on the floor, took the opportunity to shake Kid off and jump to his feet.

"This dammed grayback attacked me! They should be arrested immediately!"

Kid couldn't get up as fast as he would have liked. He grabbed the edge of the desk to help himself up, although Lou was already by his side lending him support, too. He leaned on her shoulder to keep his balance and faced the new arrival.

The officer at the door took one step ahead.

"Did I just hear you threaten to rape my sister, or was that just my imagination?" he said.

And there, standing tall before them, was Jimmy.

Lou gasped. She and Kid just stared at him, speechless.

"Jimmy?" Kid finally managed to whisper.

He turned to them and approached quickly, completely ignoring the now puzzled lieutenant, a very concerned look on his face.

"You both all right?" he asked, squeezing Lou's arm.

"Yeah, we're alright," Kid said. "What…"

But Jimmy had already turned to the other officer, who was looking at him in complete awe.

"You… you know them?" he stammered.

"Yeah, didn't you hear what I just said?" Jimmy snapped at him. "These are my sister and her husband."

"But, but, it says here them names is McCloud, Lieutenant Hickok," the man said, handing Jimmy the papers that were still on the desk.

"My wife's maiden name is Hickok, Louise Hickok," Kid managed to say. "McCloud's my name."

_"Boy, he really isn't very bright…"_

Kid was still shaking from the rage. But he knew that in their present situation the smartest thing to do was follow Jimmy's lead. It was a miracle he had appeared out of the blue, anyway.

Jimmy checked the papers. They were legitimate. He'd actually had thought his friends had forged papers and that he would have to quickly think of a whole plan to help them. But the passes were good. This was going to be much easier than he'd expected.

"I really don't see the problem with these documents," he said, looking back at the lieutenant. "They seem legit to me."

But the man was already recovering from the surprise. His expression was slowly changing from disconcerted to defiant.

"The documents seem forged to me, and it's my obligation to arrest the suspects until we can confirm their authenticity."

"My sister here- " Jimmy started, but the other man cut him off.

"Your sister should have known better that to marry a dirty Secesh Bastard, now, shouldn't she?"

Lou was thankful that at that moment her arm was around Kid's waist. The second she felt he was about to jump again she clenched her hand on his side to stop him.

Now it was Jimmy who was eye to eye with the officer.

"I don't see why that should be none of your business," he said, breathing really slowly.

"No, my business is to arrest any person suspect of spying or desertion," the lieutenant replied.

Jimmy tossed a glance at Kid and Lou and sniffed. Then he ran his hand through his hair and faced the lieutenant again.

"I tell you what. Why don't you just acknowledge these papers are fine, which they are, and I'll forget that when I came in you were threatening my sister with rape if they didn't pay you?"

The man remained silent for just a second.

"This scum attacked me," he finally said.

"That ain't the way I saw it. My brother-in-law, whose leg is obviously injured, stumbled and fell, unfortunately taking you down with him."

"I'm bleeding!" the lieutenant exclaimed.

"Because you had the bad luck of hitting your desk when you fell."

The lieutenant's face screamed hatred. His eyes were about to pop out of their sockets in his fury.

"It's your word against mine," he muttered between his teeth.

Without breaking eye contact, Jimmy slowly lowered his hand until it was resting on his Colt.

"Do you really want to take that chance? I know you've been reprimanded before. It wouldn't look good for you. Or…" he went on really slowly, "would you really want to accidentally run into me on the street, maybe late at night, after the way you disrespected my sister?"

The lieutenant flared his nostrils several times, trying to control his sudden fear.

"But, of course, what can we expect from a gunslinger and his greyback lovin' sister" he whispered.

He just stood there for a moment, and then he snatched the papers from Jimmy's hands. He turned to his desk, and quickly put a stamp on both of them, so hard the desk trembled. Then he practically tossed them at Kid.

"Get the hell out of here," he hissed. "And make sure I never see your disgusting face again!"

Lou picked up Kid's crutches and handed them to him. Then they left, grabbing their bag on their way out, while Jimmy gave the lieutenant a last warning look before following them.

Out in the street, Jimmy gestured for them to keep walking, and they kept going on, without saying a word, until he considered they were far enough from the Provost-Marshal's office.

Then he stopped and turned. In a second he had Lou in his arms, embracing her as hard as he could. He pushed back to look at her, holding her by the arms, and gave her a deep kiss on the forehead.

"Look at you," he whispered.

Then he turned to Kid and hugged him tight too, patting him in the back.

"You alright?" he asked him again, stepping back and grabbing him by the shoulders.

"Thanks to you," Kid said. "I think I've never been happier to see you, man. Where'd you came from, anyway? You was like an apparition!"

"I was just walking down the street when I thought I saw you both. I thought I was imagining things, but decided to make sure and followed you to the office," Jimmy explained, looking at both of them. "I'm glad I did! But what on earth are you doing here? And what happened to you?" he asked Kid.

"Long story," Kid just said.

"What's with that man, anyway?" Lou asked, shaking her head.

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that," Jimmy said. "He's just a fanatic, corrupt ass who thinks his post gives him the right to do whatever he wants. The bad thing is that he actually does. I'm really sorry," he said again, looking directly at Kid.

"It ain't your fault, Jimmy. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't shown up like you did," Kid softly replied.

"I hope all this won't cause too much trouble to you," Lou said.

"Nah, don't worry," Jimmy said, dismissing the thought with his hand. "He's just an idiot, and my company is moving out of here in a few days, so don't worry about that. And now," he added, "I think we have a lot catching up to do, but first things first. We need to get you both out of here as soon as possible, so let's get those train tickets. And then, well you look like you could use something to eat, especially you, Kid!" he said, grinning.

Kid chuckled and shook his head. "Yeah, let's go."

They got the train tickets without any trouble. Since they had a couple of hours left, Jimmy took them to a little restaurant near the train station so they could talk.

Kid and Lou told Jimmy about the two years they were with the confederate cavalry, and then about Kid getting injured and dismissed.

They asked him about the rest of their family, too. Jimmy had gotten a letter from Cody not too long ago. And Buck was still in Rock Creek, working with Teaspoon.

Lou still felt like she was dreaming. She couldn't believe she was sitting there, chatting with Jimmy like nothing had changed.

"How bad was it, Kid?" Jimmy finally asked. "Must've been pretty bad if they`re letting you go."

Kid shrugged. "It ain`t really that bad, Jimmy."

"Don´t say that, Kid. It was awful!" Lou exclaimed. "He took a bullet right above the knee, shattered the bone and everything. I thought he was gonna die on me right on the spot," she finally whispered, a very anguished look on her face.

Kid sighed.

"Well, Kid, I'm telling you," Jimmy said, leaning back on his chair, "with that kind of injury you sure are lucky you didn't lose that leg!"

"Thanks to Lou," Kid replied, grabbing his wife's hand from where it rested on the table, and giving her a sweet look.

Lou smiled sadly. "I didn't do anything."

"That ain`t true, Lou," Kid said. "And well, thanks to my wife, I should be walking in no time."

"Not if you keep pushing yourself, you won`t," Lou snapped. "You`re supposed to be resting as much as you can, and takin' it easy on that leg. That bone's not fully healed, you know? Maybe you can put some sense in that tough head of his, Jimmy," she said turning to their friend

"Lou-"Kid started

"I think it would be a good idea to send a wire to Teaspoon," Lou cut him off, rising suddenly from her chair, "telling him we made it to Pennsylvania. I'll get to it," she went on, turning to leave.

But Kid held on to her hand. "Honey, I think it ain't a good idea you wandering around town with that crazy lieutenant on the loose."

"C'mon, Kid," she said annoyed, "I thought we was over this."

"You know we are, but- "

"I don't mean to interfere here, Lou," Jimmy interrupted, rising too, "but the Kid's right this time. Neither of you should be alone after what happened back there. And I, for sure, intend to keep an eye on you until I get you both on that train."

Lou shook her head angrily. "I don´t believe this," she mumbled, storming off.

Jimmy turned to Kid, shaking his head and chuckling. "Guess some things never change!"

Kid smiled and shrugged as he reached for his crutches. But Jimmy noted a deep concern on his eyes.

Both men sat on a bench outside the crowded telegraph office, waiting for Lou to send the wire.

Kid rested his elbows on his knees and stared into the distance for a moment.

"Jimmy, I really want to thank you again," he finally said.

"Don`t mention it," Jimmy shrugged. "But I sure am glad I was around."

"Yeah, me too. I know I shouldn't have lost my temper, but the way that man spoke to Lou…"

"Forget about it, Kid. I told you, he's just an idiot."

But Kid couldn't forget about it. He just couldn't. He tried to take his mind off it and sighed, looking down at his hands.

"You know, there´s something I`ve been wanting to tell you for quite a while now, and, well, I didn´t think I´d ever have the chance," Kid said, taking the conversation away from the lieutenant.

Jimmy turned to him with a puzzled look, leaning his arm on the bench back.

"Shoot."

"It´s just," Kid said, slightly shaking his head, still staring at his hands, "the way we left things when we parted ways, that was..., that was just wrong, Jimmy." He turned his head to look up at him. "We should never have let all this nonsense turn us against each other. Family is the most important thing in the world, I understand that now. And well, you _are_ my brother, Jimmy. And we sure can argue, and fight, and punch each other, but that will never change the fact that you´ll _always_ be my brother. And I´m truly sorry I forgot that because of all this…" he waved his hand around, "this madness".

Jimmy wrinkled his nose and looked away. Then he nodded.

"Thank you," he finally said. "I was very worried about that, too. We certainly acted like a pair of fools, right?" he said smiling ruefully. "I'm very sorry too, Kid. You're right, we're brothers. We should never forget that again." He squeezed Kid's shoulder.

"So, we're good?" Kid asked, smiling too.

"Yeah, we're good," Jimmy answered grinning.

Kid nodded. Then he turned again to look into the distance and fell silent, just sighing from time to time.

"Is it about your leg?" Jimmy finally asked.

"Hmm?" Kid turned to him, returning from his reverie.

"Something's eating you up, Kid. I know you."

Kid smiled at him. "Is it that obvious?"

"If you're worried about that leg, just take it easy," Jimmy said, shrugging. "Like you said, you'll be walking in no time."

Kid sighed again.

"It's…it's not that Jimmy. I mean, I _know_ I'll get better. I'm trying really hard to get better." He shook his head. "To be honest, I was sure I was going to lose the leg. If it weren't for Lou… So, what I really am is thankful, you know? For whatever chance I'm getting. I know it will take a while, and a lot of hard work, but I know I'll be all right." He made a pause. "And, well, as wrong as it may sound, if I hadn't been shot and dismissed, we probably'd have been both killed, eventually."

Jimmy nodded. "Then what is it?"

Kid looked away again and started to rub his hands against each other, fixing his gaze on the ground.

"It's alright, man. If you don't want to talk about it…" Jimmy said.

"No, no, it ain't that. I just…" Kid paused, as if calculating how to say what was on his mind. Then he went on. "When I decided to fight for Virginia, I was so certain of what I was doing. So certain. I convinced myself it was my duty to fight for the land I was born in, the land that saw me grow. It was like an honor debt, you know?" He turned to look at Jimmy, who silently nodded at him. "You know me, Jimmy. You know I don't believe in slavery anymore. I mean, Noah was my brother too, for chrissake. I truly believed that was not what I was fighting for." He took a deep breath, "Until I realized I was."

"Kid-" Jimmy started.

"But that ain't the worst," Kid cut him off. "I jeopardized everything I had, everything I worked so hard for, for some stupid ideal, for a land that never gave me anything but sorrow. And I dragged Lou with me." He shook his head, and looked at his friend with such sorrow that Jimmy held his breath. "I almost managed to get her killed, Jimmy. You know what that means_? I almost got Lou killed_" he repeated, emphasizing every word.

"She was determined to come, Kid," Jimmy replied. "You know our Lou. It ain't like you had much to say about it."

"Yes. But she came for me! That's exactly my point, Jimmy. I should never have come _in the first place_! I should have stayed home with her, taking care of her, making her happy. Not dragged her to this hell hole! Not making her live the nightmare of these past two years! She's so worried for me now, Jimmy. She's worried every second of the day. You saw her. And that's entirely my fault. How could I do this to her? To us? And for nothing! For nothing!" He tried to calm down. "This was the biggest mistake I've ever made, Jimmy."

Jimmy shook his head.

"Kid, I got to tell you, and in the future I'm gonna deny that I said this, but you're the most honorable man I've ever known." Kid smiled at this and Jimmy went on. "You believed what you was doing, and your intentions were upright. And what matters is that you're both alive and heading home. Don't punish yourself over this."

"I just…"Kid went on. "I had this feeling that getting her out of the Confederacy would somehow make things better, that I'd feel better. And I did for a moment. But then this…" Kid waved his hand, "this damn lieutenant made me see that it ain't over. I keep putting her in danger, Jimmy. I mean," he shook his head again, "last night I even let my guard down, and we…well, you know. What if a patrol had appeared, Jimmy? Or deserters, or outlaws, or anything! I was such a fool!"

Jimmy couldn't help but smile at the last part. He patted Kid on the shoulder.

"But nothing happened, Kid."

"It could have!" Kid exclaimed.

"But it didn't!" Jimmy said again. "Kid, Lou's alright. You're all right. And you're going home. That's what matters. It _is_ over, Kid."

Kid was still shaking his head.

"Kid, I know I'm not a big relationship expert, but... have you talked to Lou 'bout this?" Jimmy cautiously asked.

Kid sighed. "No, I haven't. I mean, how can I ask her to forgive me if I can't forgive myself?"

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Jimmy replied. "You'll be just fine, you'll see."

They remained silent for another moment.

"I don't know what to tell you, Kid," Jimmy finally said. "I honestly think you're being too hard on yourself, as always. You should talk to Lou."

"Yeah, I guess. Thank you for listening anyway, Jimmy," Kid replied, looking back at his friend.

Jimmy nodded his head at him and smiled. "Well, that's what brothers are for, right? As long as you don't let it go to your head, and as I long I still get to punch you once in a while, like you said!"

They burst into laughter.

"Well ain't that a sight for sore eyes?" Lou said, coming out of the post office and smiling widely at them.

"Well," Jimmy said, standing up with a grunt. "Better get going if we want you to catch that train."

They walked slowly and in silence to the train station. They got there in no time, and while Kid showed their papers to the officer on the platform, Lou and Jimmy stood a little behind.

"It's back," Lou absently whispered.

Jimmy turned toward her, puzzled.

"What's back?"

"The shadow in his eyes. It was gone for a moment, but now it's back…"

"Lou-"Jimmy began.

But Kid was already coming back toward them.

"Well, I guess we're ready," he said shrugging apologetically, at the same time the train whistle announced its departure.

Jimmy looked at both of them. They were parting ways again, so soon. There was no way of knowing when, or even if, they would meet again.

"Thanks again, for everything, Jimmy," Kid said, offering his hand.

Jimmy shook it and then he pulled Kid into a hard embrace.

"Remember what I told you, Kid," he whispered, backing up.

Kid nodded. "Please, take care of yourself, Jimmy."

Then Jimmy turned to Lou, and saw that tears were filling her eyes and starting to run down her cheeks.

"Hey," he said sweetly to her.

Lou clung to his neck.

"Hey, c'mon, you ain't gonna get all girly on me, now, are you?" he whispered, holding her tight.

Lou giggled between her tears.

"Jimmy, please be very careful", she said. Then she backed up, still holding him by the shoulders. "Promise you'll come home as soon as this is over," she said looking at him intently.

Jimmy smiled and nodded.

"I mean it, Jimmy! Promise!"

"I promise, Lou."

"And don't do anything stupid in the meanwhile, like getting yourself killed_. We need you_, Jimmy."

Jimmy's face darkened a little as he looked her straight in the eyes.

"Don't worry, Lou," he said.

Then Lou pulled him into a last embrace.

"I love you, Jimmy," she said.

Jimmy closed his eyes and whispered to her ear: "I love you, too, Lou."

The whistle of the train pierced their ears one last time.

Lou let go and turned away quickly, wiping her face with the sleeve of her blouse. She climbed the steps to the train car and turned to give Kid a hand.

Once he was up, Kid turned to take the crutches Jimmy was handing him, and shook his hand one last time.

"See you soon, Jimmy," he said.

"You can bet on that, Kid."

Lou and Kid moved on into the carriage, and, as the train started, Lou got to a window and waved to Jimmy, who stood alone on the platform watching the train moving into the distance.

When the station was finally out of sight, Lou sat back beside Kid, held his hand and closed her eyes for a moment.

She prayed for Jimmy's safety, feeling heartbroken for not knowing how many years would go bye until they met again. She missed him terribly. She prayed for their own safe return. But, above all, she prayed for Kid, for being able to help him with whatever burden was troubling his heart. They still had a long way to go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

There was a general exclamation of protest when the train came to a sudden stop in the middle of nowhere. Again.

As Lou had feared, it had taken more than five weeks for them to get near St. Joe. Five weeks of overpriced tickets, delayed trains, if there were any trains at all, destroyed tracks, and on and off-again working stages. They never had another incident as bad as the one in Chambersburg, and although that was a relief, Lou couldn't help but worry about how this trip was affecting Kid's health.

As people started to crowd around the windows to see what was going on, Lou decided to go straight to the train car's entrance and find out for herself.

She caught sight of a railway employee running towards the front of the train and shouted at him.

"Hey, can you tell me what`s causing the delay this time?"

The man barely glanced at her as he ran on past.

"The rail track is completely blocked, ma´am," he hastily tossed over his shoulder. "You might as well come down and stretch your legs. We`ll be here for a while."

Lou sighed, annoyed. This was starting to get on her nerves. She was exhausted and frustrated. And she could only imagine how much worse Kid was feeling.

He was being so stoic and brave about everything. He never complained about his leg, or about being in pain, or about how exhausted he had to be. Lou had reached her limit a while ago. She kept arguing with train employees, stagecoach drivers, train station clerks, anyone who crossed her path really. But not Kid. He never lost his patience, not a single time. He was actually the one who calmed her down every time she was about to explode. He was always the one who tried to stay positive.

But that darned shadow in his once clear blue eyes was still there, getting worse with every passing day. It was killing Lou, not knowing what it was. She considered just asking him about it. She'd almost done it more than once. But she always chickened out. Maybe she feared the answer as much as she feared the shadow.

In no time the surprisingly numerous passengers were wandering around the open grass field the train was stranded in. The few healthy male passengers headed toward the engine, ostensibly to help clear whatever was blocking the tracks.

Lou and Kid found a flat rock near the last wagon and sat there silently, admiring the beautiful landscape for a while.

"Hey, I was thinking," Kid suddenly said, "the next town we reach is the last one before St. Joe. Shouldn´t we send a wire to the orphanage? You know, letting them know were coming to get Jeremiah and Theresa?"

Lou didn`t answer immediately. She moved uncomfortably on her seat on the rock, as if pondering very carefully what to say.

"Yeah, well, I don't think that's such a good idea, Kid," she finally replied, looking away.

He gave her an astonished look. "What?" he exclaimed. "You haven't talked about anything else for the past two years, Lou! What do you mean it ain't a good idea?"

Lou pretended there was something very interesting on the ground, and started digging it with her boot.

"It's just", she said as casually as she could, "I really think the sooner we get home the better. And the trip from St. Joe to the orphanage would take too much time. It's better we head straight home."

Kid couldn't believe what he was hearing. "What do you mean? The orphanage is practically in in St. Joe. And what ´bout your brother and sister?"

Lou didn't look at him. "It's alright, Kid. As soon as we get settled in Rock Creek, I'll come back and get them."

"But that doesn't make any sense! Why not just pick them up on our way home?" Kid went on.

Lou sighed and raised her eyes to him, but didn't say anything.

Then it dawned on him, and his face darkened a little.

"Please don't tell me it's because of me, Lou," he said sadly.

"No, no," Lou softly said. "It's just… this trip had been exhausting already. Let's not prolong it any more than necessary."

Kid grabbed her hand from where it rested on the rock and leaned towards her.

"Sweetheart, I'm in perfect condition to go to the orphanage and get your brother and sister. Hey, I can even wait for you at the train station or in town if that's what's troubling you," he added when she was about to reply. "But please, don't delay that any longer. Certainly not for me. I know how important this is for you."

She smiled as nonchalantly as she could.

"Really, Kid, it ain´t big deal. I just want to get home as soon as possible, that's all. And it's better we get settled down before we get them, don't you think?"

"Lou, please," Kid insisted. "You know perfectly well Rachel told us we're all welcomed to stay with her for a while. That ain't the reason you want to do this." He paused. "I'm fine, really! Those children have been too patient already. And you don't know how long Jeremiah will be willing to wait for us."

Lou grasped Kid's hand with her free one and looked him in the eyes.

"I'm serious, Kid. This is the way I want to do this." He was about to reply again but she didn't let him. "Let's not fight about this, please."

Kid's shoulders sank. He shook his head slowly and looked away, letting go of her hands. They sat there, side by side, a heavy silence weighing down on them. Then suddenly Kid reached for his crutches and stood up.

Lou watched him, puzzled.

"Where you going?" she asked anxiously.

"For a walk," he answered dryly, without looking at her. "I`m just too tired of sitting down."

"I'll go with you," Lou said, moving to get up, too.

"No!" Kid exclaimed. His tone of voice made her stop halfway between sitting and standing. He sighed, annoyed, and flashed her an angry look. "Lou, I'm perfectly capable of going for a walk by myself. I'm not _completely_ useless, you know?"

He turned and stomped off on his crutches, leaving her speechless. She sat back down slowly. Then Kid stopped, standing there silently, with his back still to her, for a moment.

"I'm…I'm…sorry" he finally murmured, without turning to look at her. "I shouldn`t have talked to you like that…I just need to be alone."

Lou kept her gaze fixed in her husband`s back as he slowly went away on his crutches. She hated this. She hated the silent, yet undeniable, wall that was slowly growing between them. And she hated the feeling when she couldn't do anything about it.

She was so caught up in her worried thoughts she didn´t notice anyone else was sitting on the rock until she heard her speak.

"That`s a fine young man you have there, child."

Lou started and turned to see an old lady right beside her, looking at her.

"Yes…" she managed to say. "Yes, he is."

"Taking him home?"

Lou nodded, smiling shyly.

"Well, let me tell you," the old lady added, putting her hand on Lou`s knee. "You`re very lucky to have that chance…"

Lou sighed and turned to look at Kid again, moving fartheraway from her with each passing moment. She knew she was lucky. Every time she remembered Kid's brush with death, the helplessness and the overwhelming despair she had felt on that battlefield, her heart shrank and her soul darkened a little bit more. She had almost lost him, and that was something she couldn't even begin to deal with. That´s why she felt this almost unmanageable urge to protect him. He was pushing himself so hard she knew he was going to end up hurting himself if she wasn`t there to stop him. But why did she feel she wasn´t able to reach him anymore? He was not the same. _They _were not the same. And Lou hated it.

"War can leave a heavy burden on a man´s heart, you know? "the woman said again, as if she was reading her mind.

"Excuse me?" Lou said, looking back at her.

"I said, war can leave a heavy burden on a man´s heart," the old lady repeated, with a sweet smile on her face. "But just give it some time," she said, tapping Lou on the knee. "I recognize love when I see it. You two will be all right."

And with that she stood up and walked away.

"Thank you…" Lou finally managed to call after her, confused and not sure what else to say.

Then she turned to look again at Kid, just in time to see him stumble and fall to the ground.

"Kid!" she cried, jumping to her feet and running towards him as fast as she could.

When she reached him he was already on one knee and using one of his crutches to get up, but Lou didn´t give him time. As soon as she was by his side she was grabbing him and pulling him up.

"You alright? Did you hurt yourself?" she asked anxiously, disregarding Kid´s frustrated look when she handed him his other crutch.

"I`m all right, Lou…" Kid slowly mumbled, trying not to sound too annoyed.

"I keep telling you, you should be more careful, Kid," Lou scolded him.

Kid tightened his mouth and, taking a deep breath, allowed Lou to lead him back to the train while she lectured on.

* * *

The stagecoach sped across the rolling plains, trailing a cloud of dust behind. But for Lou it felt like it was crawling slower than a snail. The landscape outside her window seemed to be going on forever.

Home. They were almost home and each passing mile felt like a hundred. She could feel her spirit lifting the closer they got. She lowered her gaze from the window to Kid, sound asleep with his head on her lap. He was tightly grabbing one of her hands as he always did. She loved that.

She ran her other hand lovingly through his sandy hair, tunneling her fingers deeply through its soft silkiness. She loved his hair, especially when it seemed at the edge of needing an urgent haircut, like now. Kid moaned and tightened his grip on her other hand, shifting slightly. He just looked so handsome and sweet when he was asleep, so vulnerable, almost like a child. She leaned forward and brushed his forehead with her lips, letting them linger there a bit. At moments like this, looking at him like this, Lou was often overwhelmed by the kind of feelings she had for this man. She loved him so much it scared her. And it scared her even more feeling him slipping away from her. She had lost him once and now she felt like it was happening again, and she just couldn't take that.

Luckily he hadn't mentioned her brother and sister again, not even when they got to St. Joe, and that was a relief for Lou. She certainly was desperate to get her siblings, but what was more urgent for her was to get Kid home so he could finally rest a little, even if he didn´t want to. It was like he was always pushing himself, and Lou always had to slow him down. She knew he resented her for that, but if he wasn´t willing to take care of himself she certainly was determined to do it for him.

At home it would be different, she reassured herself. At home everything would be alright again. They would be alright again. They simply _had_ to.

"I love you so much, Kid," she whispered, her lips still pressed against his warm skin.

He smiled faintly, still asleep, and that made her feel a little better.

"Rock Creek!" the conductor suddenly bellowed, as the stagecoach jerked to a slow stop.

Lou quickly raised her head to look through the window, feeling her heart starting to race. They were really home. They had made it. This damned war was over for them and they were back where they belonged.

She quickly stroked Kid's arm to wake him up. He slowly opened his eyes and smiled at her.

"We're here, baby! We made it!" she said excitedly.

Kid sat up quickly to look through the window, too, as the stage stopped in the middle of the main road.

"Rock Creek, ladies and gentlemen," the conductor announced again, though Lou and Kid were the only ones on the vehicle.

Lou turned to Kid and grabbed his hand. He looked at her with an ear to ear grin, placed his other hand on her cheek and kissed her deeply on the lips.

Then they sat still, holding hands, watching each other and smiling. They didn't say anything. They didn't need to.

As soon as the conductor opened the passenger door, Lou let go of Kid's hand, and with a swift move stepped out of the conveyance, not even noticing the hand the conductor was offering her.

She turned to help Kid, but he was already handing his crutches to the conductor, so she looked around for a familiar face.

"Lordy, Lord, Lord!" exclaimed a voice behind her. "Isn't it a glorious day when my girl and one of my boys are finally home!"

In a split second she was in Teaspoon's arms.

"Welcome home, child", the man whispered hoarsely, hugging her tight. Then he stepped back to look at her, his eyes filled with emotions he'd never give voice to.

Lou felt another pair of arms snatching her from Teaspoon's grasp.

"Lou, thank God, you're finally here, sweetheart," Rachel exclaimed, holding her tight. Before they knew it they were both crying and laughing as they tried to talk at the same time.

Then it was Kid's turn for the hugging and greeting.

"Dear boy..." Teaspoon said, finally letting the younger man go and patting him on the cheek. "How are you?" he asked anxiously, tossing a quick glance to Kid's injured leg.

"I'll be alright, Teaspoon, don't worry," Kid said smiling.

Teaspoon looked intently at him for a moment, and then turned to Lou and put an arm around both their shoulders.

"Well", he said, "you're both back home in one piece and that's all that matters! We'll have you back in shape in no time, boy!" he exclaimed, patting Kid on the back.

"In that case we should start by feeding you properly, Kid!" Rachel teased. "C'mon, let's get you settled down", she said, walking them towards her house, as Teaspoon took care of their bag.

"Why is it that the first thing people want to do when they see me is feed me?" Kid teased with a big grin.

"Maybe because you look as if the first wind will blow you away like a twig!" Rachel exclaimed smiling.

"Rachel, we wouldn't want to impose-"Lou started.

"Nonsense!" she cut her off. "You're staying with me for as long as you need."

"Thank you, Rachel," Kid said. "It won't be for too long and we won't be a burden. We still have enough money and-"

"For as long as you need," she repeated sternly, looking at him. "You need to focus on recovering, Kid. Besides, I've missed you both too much already. I want to have you near me, at least for awhile."

After the Pony Express had shut down, the town had bought the station property. As the town teacher, Rachel got to keep the house. The rest of the facilities, the bunkhouse, the barn and the corrals, were designated for the use of the marshal. So everything was pretty much the same as when Kid and Lou had left.

"We really appreciate it, Rachel." Lou said. Then she started looking around. "Hey, where's Buck? I hope this deputy job ain't keeping him so busy that he can't come welcome us!" she added amused.

"Oh, he's back at the house. He's preparing a little…surprise for you." Rachel said, giving Kid a meaningful look.

"A surprise?" Lou exclaimed. She turned to look questioningly at Kid, but her husband only shrugged and shook his head with an innocent look.

"As a matter of fact, I think your surprise must be ready at the barn…" Rachel said mysteriously as they got near the house.

And indeed there was Buck grinning at the barn door, waiting for them.

He rushed to meet them and pulled them both into a tight embrace at the same time. "It feels so good the family is getting back together finally," he exclaimed. "Welcome back, my friends!"

After they greeted each other properly, Buck walked back to the barn. "Are you ready for your surprise?" he asked.

Lou stroked Kid's arm gently, and he looked down sweetly at her. It felt so good to be here.

The second Buck opened the door, all Lou could hear was a voice exclaiming "Louise!" And the next thing she knew, Theresa was clinging to her neck.

Lou was so shocked that for a moment she couldn't react at all. She could only hug her sister back as she got her thoughts back together.

She stepped back to look at her sister's grinning and excited face, then looked back at the barn door to see Jeremiah stepping out. Her brother was trying very hard to conceal a smile, and he walked towards them offering Lou his outstretched hand.

Lou, still too astonished to say anything, let go of Theresa with one arm and took her brother's hand, pulling him immediately into the embrace.

She stepped back and grabbed them both by the arms, shaking her head trying to get her voice back.

"But, how…" she stammered.

Then she looked questioningly at Rachel and Buck, who were standing grinning next to them.

"It was all Kid's idea," Rachel explained. "He sent a wire before you got to St. Joe, telling us you wouldn't be able to pick up your brother and sister on your way here. So he asked us to do it for you."

"I rode like hell to get them here before you arrived," Buck finished.

"We've been here for three days, now Louise!" Theresa claimed. ""We thought you was never coming!"

Lou turned slowly to look at Kid, who was looking at her with a smile of pure happiness on his face. Then he winked at her.

Lou opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out. So she just threw herself at him, hugging him so hard she almost knocked him down.

She looked up at him with her eyes full of tears.

"I…I don't know what to say, Kid…" she finally managed to whisper. "Thank you."

"I knew how much it meant to you, Lou. I'll do anything to see that look on your face." Kid replied softly, looking intensely at her.

"Hey! What 'bout me?" Buck complained. "I'm the one who brought them!"

They all chuckled.

"Thank you very much, Buck." Lou said, nodding to him. Then she turned to look up at Kid again, still in his arms. "I can´t believe you did this for me," she whispered.

"I´ll do anything for you Lou, you know that," he softly answered.

"Well," Teaspoon interrupted, snatching Lou from Kid`s arms and putting an arm around her shoulder to walk her to the house. "Let`s get you two settled. I know you must be tired and all, but we certainly have a lot of catching up to do."

And they all went in, chatting and laughing, delighting in the happiness of being together once again.

To be continued.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"I´m just saying we should wait until your leg gets better, Kid." Lou was arguing, as she began to set the table.

"We´ve been home for almost three weeks now, Lou," Kid replied. "It ain´t like we can sit around forever, wasting all our money. There´s four of us now. If we don´t do somethin' soon, there ain´t gonna be nothing left for our ranch."

Lou took another dish from the shelf. Then she turned to face her husband, who was leaning against the counter.

"I know, I know. But we can´t possibly think about buying a ranch right now, Kid. Not until you get better," she repeated.

She understood perfectly well how he felt. It wasn´t just the matter of wasting all their money, which they slowly were, even if they were saving a lot on boarding. Nor was it even the feeling they were an inconvenience for Rachel, though she had made perfectly clear they were welcome at her house for as long as they needed. It was the feeling of being stranded, doing nothing, of not moving forward. Lou especially felt trapped, being around the house all day, helping with the house chores that, quite frankly, she hated. Not that she had a choice. It was the least she could do to thank Rachel for all her kindness.

But she wanted desperately to be out in the open, to ride. She looked forward to the hard work a ranch would require.

All she wanted was for them to find a nice property outside of town and start, once and for all, their oh so belated horse ranch. They still had enough money saved to do it. They had even talked about trying to convince Buck into joining them as a full partner.

But that was unthinkable at that moment. If she was having problems with Kid not taking proper care of himself now, she couldn't even imagine how it would be if they had their own ranch to work. Even if he was still on crutches, he was perfectly capable of killing himself working. So, their dream would have to wait, again.

Kid took a deep breath-he was doing that a lot lately- and started helping her with the dishes. They remained silent for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts, until Kid spoke again.

"I know you´re right, Lou, but we just can´t keep on living on our savings. Soon we´ll have nothing left."

Lou was opening her mouth to reply when the kitchen door suddenly burst open and Theresa and Jeremiah rushed inside, home from school, followed by Teaspoon and Buck.

They all quickly sat around the table chattering, without paying attention to Kid and Lou´s tight faces.

They sat down too and, as the rest of the family was engaged in their own conversation, Lou finally replied to Kid.

"So what do you suggest we do?" she asked quietly.

"Well, I think the only possible thing to do at the moment is to find a job. At least for now," her husband said, looking intently at her.

"A job?" Teaspoon interrupted from the other side of the table. Lou looked surprised at him; she didn´t think anyone was listening to them. "Well boy, if you`re interested in a job, I know there´s an opening at the telegraph office. The pay is good and it´ll surely help you kids get by. I just need to say the word and the job is yours."

Lou tilted her head. It didn`t sound so bad. Anything that got her out of the house didn´t sound so bad.

"Well," she said, "I think that´s a good idea. I`ll check it out this afternoon and maybe I`ll take it."

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Kid slowly turn his head toward her, piercing her with his gaze. She turned to face him and the look in his eyes made her heart freeze. A sudden surprise, hurt, resentment, anger, disbelief. She couldn't quite decipher what it was, but she knew Kid had never looked at her that way before. Never. And it hurt in the deepest part of her soul.

"When I mentioned finding a job, I was obviously talking about myself, Louise," Kid said hoarsely and very, very slowly.

The tone of his voice made all the people in the table suddenly hush and turn to look at them.

Lou quickly recovered and decided to ignore Kid´s look.

"I certainly don´t think you should make that kind of effort, Kid. We agreed you should focus on recovering and-"

"What effort?" her husband exclaimed, raising his voice and forgetting the rest of their family watching them. "It`s a telegraph office! I´ll be sitting around all day long!"

Lou looked sideways at the rest of the people at the table. They looked uncomfortable but stayed at their spots nevertheless. Then she faced Kid, who seemed to be getting angrier by the second, and decided to be firm with him no matter what.

"Well, I`m very sorry Kid, but I really don´t think you´re in any condition to be taking any kind of job. Besides, why should you? I don`t think they`ll have any problem by hiring a girl at the telegraph office."

At this point Teaspoon opened his mouth to speak, but immediately thought better of it and closed his mouth without saying a word. Everybody else was dead silent.

Kid was taking very slow and deep breaths, as if trying very hard not to lose it, never breaking eye contact with his wife.

"That ain´t the point…"

"And what´s your problem anyway?" she suddenly burst out. "Are you gonna get all crazy about me wanting to have a job? I thought we was over this, Kid!"

That was it. Kid stood up brusquely, banging one fist on the table, making all the tableware, and everybody, jump.

"That ain´t fair, Lou!" he cried, his eyes blazing. "That ain´t fair! I certainly don´t deserve that! You know perfectly well I have no problem at all with you doing whatever the hell you want. You know that!" he exclaimed, pointing his finger at her. "I don´t mind you working in whatever you like to. As far as I`m concerned, you can ask Teaspoon for a deputy job if you want to. You fought in the war with me, for chrissakes! But if you think I´m going to sit around in the house doing nothing while my wife is out there working, then it seems you don´t know me at all."

Lou tried to reply but he didn`t let her.

"I don`t mind _both of us_ working," he went on heaving, "but I ain´t gonna sit and watch the sky while my wife keeps me!" He leaned towards her, that terrible look in his eyes, shaking his head. "What kind of man do you think I am, Lou?" he finished more quietly, with a deep hurt in his voice

He straightened up again, taking his crutches, and looked at Teaspoon.

"I´ll take the job, Teaspoon, thank you. I´ll go talk with them this afternoon," he said in a shaky voice.

Then he turned to leave, accidentally knocking his chair down with a crutch. He cried out in frustration and stormed out as fast as he could, almost crashing into Rachel, who was arriving at that moment, and slamming the door on his way out. He never looked back at Lou.

"Hey!" Rachel complained. Then she turned to the people at the table. "Did I miss something?"

Lou sat, frozen in place, biting her lower lip and fighting with all her might the tears that were already filling her eyes.

"Lou?" Rachel asked her softly.

"Why don´t you give that poor man a break, Louise?" Jeremiah suddenly said.

"What?" Lou looked at him in disbelief.

"Jeremiah-"Teaspoon started to say, but Jeremiah cut him off.

"What? I´m just saying what everybody´s thinking, ain`t I?" Then he turned to Lou. "You treat him like he was some kind of invalid, or something! It`s getting on everybody´s nerves, you know? Just leave him alone!"

Lou looked at her brother with killer eyes.

"Why don`t you mind your own business?" she hissed at him. And then, not being able to hold back the tears any longer, she quickly got up and ran outside, too.

Rachel gave Teaspoon a meaningful look. It didn´t surprise her Lou and Kid were fighting, not the way things were going for them lately, but she rarely had seen Kid this angry.

It was evident for everybody since the moment the two got back to Rock Creek, they were not themselves, neither of them.

Amazingly, Kid was not depressed about his leg. Not at all. On the contrary, he was incredibly positive about getting better soon, and he did everything he could to make that happen, refusing to depend on the others unless he couldn't help it. But there was something else bothering him. Everybody could see that, too. He tried to look cheerful, but it was evident he was worried about something, and much more reserved than usual, which for him was saying a lot. However, Rachel attributed this to the effects of the war on him, and thought he just needed some time.

Lou, on the other side…well, she just wasn´t Lou. Not around Kid, at least. She was all over him, all the time. She wouldn't let him do anything by himself, scolding him all the time for not taking care of himself. Rachel was beginning to think Kid would have to hide from Lou if he ever wanted to leave those crutches behind. Rather than calling her on her attitude, he just kept silent and sighed, as if he thought Lou had every right to act the way she was.

At the head of the table, Teaspoon was slowly shaking his head.

"My, oh my," he sighed. "I`ve always said it ain´t wise to interfere in a couple´s matters, but I think it`s time somebody had a good chat with these two before they do something they´ll surely regret…"

That was exactly what Rachel was thinking.

* * *

Rachel found Lou sitting on the corral´s fence, looking absently into the distance. When her friend became aware of Rachel's presence, she quickly tried to wipe away her tears with the back of her sleeve. But she still had a sorrowful look on her face.

"Hey," Rachel said softly, leaning sideways against the fence.

Lou didn´t say anything.

"You all right?" Rachel persisted.

Lou just shook her head and kept looking away.

"Teaspoon told me what just happened…" she kept going, patting Lou`s knee. "Wanna talk about it, sweetheart?"

Lou sighed heavily. She felt incredibly miserable. Kid had never talked to her like that, or, even worse, looked at her like that.

She knew Kid had a temper, just as she did. But through the years he had learned, very successfully, to keep it under control. It was very important for him not letting his temper show, especially around her. She also knew the main reason for this was the terrible fear he had of becoming the kind of man his father had been. She found this almost ludicrous. Kid was the most gentle, caring and honorable man she had ever met. He did lose his temper from time to time, yes, but he only had this kind of outburst when he was pushed beyond his limits, and never as bad as this last one. That`s why she was more than a little shaken by his earlier behavior. And then there was that look which she still couldn't figure out.

"Talk to me, Lou…" Rachel was saying.

Lou shook her head. "I've had never seen him like that, Rachel, never. He's never talked to me like that, no matter how mad he was. I mean, all I´m doing is worrying about him! And the way he looked at me…"

Her friend took a deep breath, choosing her next words carefully.

"Well, Lou…He shouldn´t have talked to you like that, of course, but…" -she paused as Lou looked down at her- "you have to admit you have been putting a lot of pressure on him lately. You know, he´s a very proud man, and, well, I can understand he might have felt kind of…humiliated."

Lou opened her mouth to protest but Rachel went on.

"Honey, you treat Kid like he was made of glass and he´s going to break or something. He´s trying really hard to get better and you just ain´t letting him."

Damn. Rachel winced. That hadn't come out quite like she had planned.

Lou widened her eyes.

"You´re saying I don´t want him to get better?" she exclaimed.

"No, no, that ain`t what I meant," Rachel hastily answered. "What I mean, Lou, is that perhaps you´re so worried about him that you might be, you know…overprotecting him," -Rachel couldn't help but smile slightly at the irony of the situation-, "and maybe you ain´t giving him enough space to heal."

Rachel braced herself for the outburst she knew was coming, but oddly her friend just looked sadly at her.

"I know Rachel," Lou finally said. "I know I´m all over him all the time. But he´s just being so careless with himself. He´s pushing too hard, trying to do everything by himself. If he keeps going like this he´s just gonna end up hurt again!"

"I don´t think he´s being careless, Lou. I just think he´s trying to heal as soon as he can so he can give you the life you both want."

"I know, I just…I just can´t risk it, Rachel," Lou replied.

"What do you mean?"

Lou shook her head and looked away again.

"I can´t risk anything bad happening to him again, Rachel," she said softly.

"Oh Lou," Rachel whispered, taking her young friend´s hand between her own.

"There was a moment back there, when I was sure I'd lost him. I just can´t…" Lou said, swallowing hard, her eyes glistering again. "What I felt when I thought he had died on me…And you should´ve seen him after that, pale as a ghost, all covered in sweat and blood, with his leg shattered and screaming in pain. He just kept bleeding, and honestly I had no idea how I was going to get him off that battlefield…" She paused and took a deep breath. Then she looked at her friend, her face filling with determination. "I couldn´t bear it if something happened to him, Rachel. It would kill me. And I couldn´t bear seeing him go through so much suffering, ever again. So I don´t care what everybody says. If he ain´t willing to take care of himself, then you bet I´m gonna do it for him."

"But Lou-" Rachel started again.

"That bullet was for me, you know that?" Lou suddenly cut her off.

"What?"

"The bullet that hit him, it was for me," Lou repeated sadly, looking intently at her friend. "He got in the way, he saved me. It´s my fault he got hurt."

Rachel smiled kindly, patting Lou´s hand again.

"Oh, honey. Do you really think Kid wouldn´t gladly give both of his legs, and arms for that matter, to keep you from being hurt? Do you honestly believe it would have been better for him if you got wounded instead of him? What do you think that would have done to him, Lou? That would certainly have killed him, sweetheart!"

Lou looked pleadingly at Rachel, as if she really wanted to believe that but she couldn´t.

Rachel sighed. Apparently she wasn´t getting anywhere. She was about to open her mouth again and try with a different approach, when Lou looked up suddenly. She turned to see Kid slowly approaching.

"Hey," he said softly. "I´m sorry, Rachel. Would you mind giving me a minute alone with my wife?"

"Sure," she said. She smiled at a serious Lou one more time and patted her on the hand before leaving.

She squeezed Kid´s arm as she passed him, and went back towards the house.

Lou jumped down from the fence and started to leave, but Kid grabbed her arm, dropping one of his crutches as she did.

"Lou, please, wait," he pleaded.

She stopped and looked up at him. She felt so hurt that she didn´t want to talk to him at all. But the imploring look in his eyes made her stay. She raised her eyebrows questioningly, waiting for him to say something.

Kid took a deep breath, not letting go of her arm.

"I just needed to say that I´m terribly sorry for the way I spoke to you back at the house," he finally said. And by the look of repentance in those irresistible blue eyes of his, Lou could tell that he meant it. "I have no excuse for talking to you like that, especially in front of everybody." He let go of her arm and placed his hand on her cheek. "Please forgive me, Lou. I´m so sorry. I really am."

Lou sighed and placed her hand over his. Then she smiled sheepishly and nodded.

Kid smiled in relief and embraced her deeply with his free arm.

"Thank you, sweetheart," he whispered against her hair. But then he pulled backed to look down at her. "I meant what I said, though, even if it wasn´t the best way for me to say it. You know I couldn´t just wait around while you´re working. Also-" he quickly added, not giving her time to reply- "…it really hurt me when you said I had a problem with you getting a job. You know that ain´t true, Lou."

Lou nodded apologetically and placed her hands on his chest.

"And," he went on, "I also meant I need to get a job."

Lou looked away for a minute, and then back up at her husband.

"I guess you do," she shrugged.

"And since I called it first, that one at the telegraph office it´s mine" he teased. "Find your own job if you want one."

This finally made Lou giggle.

"As Teaspoon's deputy?" she teased in turn, placing her arms around her husband´s waist.

"Whatever," Kid shrugged, grinning. "Just back off the telegraph job."

They both laughed and hugged each other.

"I love you, honey," Kid whispered into her hair.

"I love you, too, Kid."

"So, we´re good?" he said, stroking her back.

"Yeah, we´re good."

They both said it, hoping beyond hope that it was true. But both knew, deep down inside, that they were far from good.

To be continued.

** Thank you so much for all your kind reviews! This is my first attempt at a multi chapter story, so feedback is more than welcome!**


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